THE VEGGIE POEMS~*~
by ShellyMoon
Summary: This is a strange, bazzar, disturbing, and just plain weird collection of poems written by Vegeta while he was in the room of spirit and time. Please R
1. There Once Was An Apple

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z or any of the characters mentioned in this poem. I wish I did though.. O.o  
  
~*~THE VEGGIE POEMS~*~  
  
(((Once There Was An Apple))) By: Vegeta Briefs  
  
Once there was an apple.  
  
Sitting on the counter.  
  
Bulma put it there.  
  
I was hungry.  
  
So I ate it.  
  
And then I watched TV.  
  
That was a poem by Vegeta Briefs.  
  
Hahahahahahahahaaa...^_^  
  
More to come soon. do you dare to read it??? 


	2. The Day Kenny Died

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z or any of the characters mentioned in this poem. I wish I did though. O.o  
  
~*~THE VEGGIE POEMS~*~  
  
(((The Day Kenny Died))) By: Vegeta Briefs  
  
I was sitting on the couch.  
  
Happy as can be.  
  
When all of a sudden.  
  
Bulma came up from behind and startled me.  
  
She asked me to go to the store.  
  
My reply was a simple "no".  
  
Until she pointed her finger toward the door.  
  
And shouted in my ear. "GO!".  
  
So I got up out of my seat.  
  
Grumpy and Upset.  
  
I noticed it was raining.  
  
And since the woman wouldn't let me back in the house to get a simple umbrella- I got wet.  
  
So I ran to the store.  
  
As fast as I could go.  
  
But as I walked in the door.  
  
I realized I could have flown over to the store rather than had to run all that way. Oh well.  
  
And then it began to snow.  
  
So I went inside.  
  
Got down on my knees.  
  
And shook my bum back and forth.  
  
Trying to get the snow off of it. People stared at me.  
  
I killed them happily.  
  
Then I took out my list of things to get.  
  
Don't ask me where or how the list got in my grasp.  
  
And I began to read it.  
  
As I walked down the isle.  
  
With my grocery cart. that was currently occupied by an old granny.  
  
But I ignored that small detail.  
  
But as I walked down the isle and read my list.  
  
I realized something.  
  
I didn't know how to read!!!  
  
I began to run around in circles of confusion. running at top speed.  
  
Until a man named Kenny bumped into me.  
  
I got mad.  
  
I felt like doing some thing bad.  
  
So I grabbed the young man's shirt.  
  
Ripping it off his chest.  
  
And I laid in neatly on the floor.  
  
And began to jump up and down just like before.  
  
Then I picked up the shirt.  
  
Dusted it off.  
  
And gave it to the man.  
  
Then I felt a tingle feeling.  
  
I had to use the can!!!  
  
So I ran over to the bathroom.  
  
But couldn't open the door!  
  
So I grabbed the man named Kenny.  
  
And threw him on the floor.  
  
Then I picked him up.  
  
And told him to open the door.  
  
He said no.  
  
And walked away.  
  
So I shot at him from far away.  
  
He fell to the ground.  
  
The blood flowed everywhere.  
  
All over his hair.  
  
And from his pocket.  
  
One thing rolled out.  
  
A simple penny.  
  
Then some lady shrieked.  
  
"Oh My God He Killed Kenny!!".  
  
I was proud.  
  
And walked away.  
  
Smiling.  
  
Smiling.  
  
Sailing away.  
  
That was another poem by Vegeta Briefs..  
  
More to come soon!!! Can you stand the suspence??? 


	3. Inner Beauty

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z or any of the characters mentioned in this poem. I wish I did though.. O.o  
  
~*~THE VEGGIE POEMS~*~  
  
(((Inner Beauty))) By: Vegeta Briefs  
  
I was looking in the mirror.  
  
And I noticed something shiny.  
  
It was in back of me.  
  
So I turned around to look at it.  
  
And discovered.  
  
It was a part of me.  
  
It was my butt!  
  
So shiny and clean.  
  
So refreshing and beautiful.  
  
I wanted to kiss it!  
  
So I tried to.  
  
But discovered that it's impossible.  
  
For someone to kiss their own behind.  
  
So I ran out of the bathroom.  
  
Angry and sad.  
  
There I found Bulma.  
  
I told her my butt was bad!  
  
She asked me why.  
  
I told her.  
  
Because it would not let me kiss it!  
  
She stared at me.  
  
Nakey and wet.  
  
Standing in front of her.  
  
"Get some clothes on!!" She cried.  
  
So I thought about it for a moment.  
  
And I replied.  
  
"Then I will not be able to see the beauty that lies in me!"  
  
And where is that beauty? My wife asked me in confusion.  
  
I said "Why, Just look at this toosh! It's no illusion!"  
  
It's beautiful and clean.  
  
And my what a smell.  
  
Just sniff it! Go on.  
  
No one sniffs to tell!  
  
But alas she chose not to.  
  
Sniff my beautiful behind.  
  
In stead she left me waiting.  
  
That sure was not kind.  
  
For I was naked and dripping.  
  
My hair was a mess!  
  
And when my son walked in the room.  
  
You can just guess the rest.  
  
So now no one knows.  
  
The true beauty my butt holds.  
  
One day I'll tell the world my story!  
  
My butt's legacy has yet to unfold.  
  
That was a poem by Vegeta Briefs.  
  
More To Come Soon.. 


	4. A Glorious Odor

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z or any of the characters mentioned in this poem. I wish I did though. O.o  
  
~*~THE VEGGIE POEMS~*~  
  
(((A Glorious Odor))) By: Vegeta Briefs  
  
  
  
Oh what a smell.  
  
That I smelled that day.  
  
So wonderful and putrid.  
  
And oh so horrid.  
  
It made people want to throw up.  
  
I liked the smell.  
  
It was evil and new.  
  
And I'd smelled it before.  
  
Like the smell of the inside of my shoe.  
  
It was awful to some.  
  
And made my wife cringe.  
  
But I enjoy it very much.  
  
The stench of it was glorious to me.  
  
But to Kakarot it made him fall.  
  
Finally!  
  
I had found a weapon to make him call.  
  
Out to his mommy.  
  
Like a small child in the night.  
  
All because that rotten smell.  
  
Gave him a fright.  
  
I adore the way it smells.  
  
Because you see.  
  
This rotten smell.  
  
It comes from me.  
  
FROM ME!  
  
FROM ME!  
  
I say it with pride.  
  
Even though it made my bride.  
  
Cry!  
  
And so she cried.  
  
And cried.  
  
And cried.  
  
Because this odor.  
  
That I love to endure.  
  
Comes from inside of me!  
  
It's a gift that makes people want to barf.  
  
It made that little dog next door.  
  
Stopping barking.  
  
Now he never goes "arf" "arf".  
  
I love this hidden talent!  
  
And you should too.  
  
It's like one big tooth ache.  
  
But it tastes like glue.  
  
That's right my friends!  
  
You're catching on.  
  
You'll soon discover.  
  
That this joyful smell.  
  
Is none other.  
  
Than.  
  
MY BREATH!  
  
MY BREATH!  
  
What a glorious gift!  
  
That I share with the world.  
  
And none can lift.  
  
Away from me.  
  
This power inside.  
  
I love my bad breath.  
  
It hides.  
  
Me from the world.  
  
Or shall I say.  
  
The world hides from me.  
  
Because of me breath.  
  
I'm happy as can be.  
  
That was yet another poem by Vegeta Briefs.  
  
More To Come Soon!!! Can you stand the wait? 


	5. Once Upon A Carrot

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z or any of the characters mentioned in this poem. I wish I did though. O.o  
  
~*~THE VEGGIE POEMS~*~  
  
(((Once Upon A Carrot))) By: Vegeta Briefs  
  
Two months ago from this very day  
  
I saw a man doing something gay  
  
I walked outside just to get some fresh undies (from the man at the undie concession-stand)  
  
When I heard a man cry out "MUNDIES!!"  
  
I pondered for a moment  
  
What the hell does MUNDIES mean?  
  
As watched the man run from terrorists that were green  
  
Why green you ask?  
  
I do not know.  
  
As I watch this woman call out "Go Charlie, Go!"  
  
So his name was Charlie? I wondered to myself  
  
Just then I saw this little elf  
  
Grab my boot and run away  
  
And so I began to chase him  
  
As he screamed to his fellow elfs "RUN AWAY!"  
  
Oh MY GOD! I cried out in dismay  
  
As I peared upon an army of elfs (and they looked so gay)  
  
I shouted out to the one that stole my boot  
  
Come back here you little ass-wipe and gimmie my LOOT!! (I always keep $500 in my boot)  
  
So when I say Loot, I don't just mean BOOT. Get it? Got it? SHUT THE HELL UP!  
  
The elf ran threw a small crack in the wall  
  
And as he ran threw, he dropped his own shoe  
  
I laughed and laughed my evilest giggle  
  
As I gazed upon the shoe and did a little wiggle  
  
Dance, thingy.yeah  
  
I grabbed the boot and licked it's insides  
  
No, not really, I just said that to make you THROW UP!! Muauahaha (back to the story)  
  
So I called to the elf  
  
"I HAVE YOUR WIFE!!!"  
  
then I thought to myself "Huh??"  
  
then I called out "No!! never mind, it's just your shoe!"  
  
he peeped out his head  
  
and said.  
  
how dare you say that about my shoe!  
  
It's so much more beautiful than Maratha Stew.  
  
"Your married Maratha Stewart?" I cried out in surprise  
  
Then he shook his head in dimize  
  
"No, just Maratha Stew."  
  
Oh. I laughed  
  
Then I pulled out an Ax  
  
And chopped him in two straight threw his brain  
  
And down to his other shoe.  
  
Even though I don't think he was "STRAIGHT"  
  
And just at that moment a big old crate- landed on top of me  
  
And inside.  
  
Was the man called Charlie I had seen earlier (you know the one who shouted "MUNDIES?")  
  
He broke out of the crate and ran away- screaming "your right! He wasn't straight for I AM MARATHA STEW!"  
  
"Wait!" I cried  
  
Your name is Charlie??  
  
"That is correct" he shouted in pride as he ran away with his bride.  
  
That's sick.. I breathed and just then another crate fell on me  
  
Full of elfs!!! EVIL ONES!  
  
They bit me, the ripped my clothes off.  
  
They took my other boot, and began to cough.  
  
Doing this cough as the robbed my of my clothing  
  
They left me only with my undies.  
  
And just then out of the BLUE  
  
I gazed upon their queen so shiny and new  
  
Wait. wait a moment. I know that face!!  
  
How dare! OH MY GOSH. their queen is my.  
  
The elf covered the mouth to my brain. And made me bow to their queen  
  
It was all too insane.  
  
Meet queen MUNDIES!! Shouted one elf with pride.  
  
Then I called out "I'd like to speak to your queen in private out side."  
  
So the queen or shall I say KING followed me out the door.  
  
KAKAROT! I scream. as I pushed him to the floor.  
  
Your so sick.. I shall hit you with this brick! No.. this STICK!!  
  
How dare you do this.. I am so ashamed!!  
  
Look at you- one of my greatest foes!!  
  
Dressed up in my finest women's clothes!!  
  
"Sorry.." said Kakarot and he squeezed my nose tight  
  
"WHAT ARE YOU DOING???!" I shouted in fright.  
  
"I farted." he breathed.  
  
"AND IN MY CLOTHES?????" I screamed "die you rabutt!!"  
  
So that was the story.. it started with a banjo and ended with a scream what became of kakarot the MUNDIES queen? you ask this of me? I shall tell you then.  
  
I ate him.  
  
That was yet another disturbing poem by Vegeta Briefs.  
  
MORE TO COME SOON. CAN YOU WAIT?? 


	6. Walk & Chew Gum

Disclaimer: I don't own Dragon Ball Z or any of the characters mentioned in this poem. I wish I did though. O.o ~*~THE VEGGIE POEMS~*~ (((Walk & Chew Gum))) By: Vegeta Briefs  
  
*little Goku people singing*  
Sometimes.. he's just.. scowling.. cussing.. but inside.. this is.. what he's thinking..  
  
*Vegeta*  
I roam the kingdom once in a while,  
But how'd I know I'd end up in charge of all these people?  
A moment of lucidity once in a while,  
But these Saiyans think I know everything,  
I love the planet of Vegeta and everyone in it,  
Wave and smile and walk on by,  
They might not tell my life is lie  
Between the evil androids- and lizard people cops  
It'll take a SaiyanPuff to make'em stop!  
  
Thank goodness for the SaiyanPuffs  
Goku, Gohan, and Goten make it easy to do my job,  
'Cause I can't walk and chew gum at the same time..   
  
*little Goku people singing*  
Bulma says he's in his gravity room training,  
But he's fast asleep on the floor drooling and dreaming  
This..  
  
*Vegeta*  
I roam the kingdom once in a while,  
But how'd I know I'd end up in charge of all these people?  
A moment of lucidity once in a while,  
But these Saiyans think I know everything,  
I love the planet of Vegeta and everyone in it,  
Wave and smile and walk on by,  
They might not tell my life is lie  
Between the evil androids- and lizard people cops  
It'll take a SaiyanPuff to make'em stop!  
  
Thank goodness for the SaiyanPuffs  
Goku, Gohan, and Goten make it easy to do my job,  
'Cause I can't walk and chew gum at the same time..   
  
*little Goku person talking jibberish*..  
~Sciba' ala daladee scalba finger'chu~  
~scabala bee finger'as sama'chu~  
~hit'cha know apatch' lu~  
~wingle dangle miggle maggle jiggle jaggle ingle angle~  
~Toast'a res mos'a messa rossa ressa bosea messa BESA~  
*flute thingys being played badly* *Deep breathe intake*   
~dipple dapple wappa ropple~  
~pepa capin~ BIG BLACK BUG BIT THE BIG BLACK BEAR~ AND MADE HIM BLEED..  
  
*Vegeta bows* "I LOVE POT-ROAST!!"  
  
That was yet another strange form of poetry from Vegeta Briefs..  
  
MORE TO COME VERY SOON!! CAN YOU STAND THE WAIT??? 


End file.
